Start Menu > Run > type "iexpress"
and compress
and run the file Express Packager -
Welcome to IExpress 2.0
IExpress is a technology designed to simplify creation of a setup program.
Using the step-by-step IExpress Wizard, you can create self-extracting files that automatically run the setup program contained inside.
The setup program can be an .inf file or an executable program.
IExpress technology automatically removes the setup files after installation, saving the user time and frustration.
note: You can use winrar to extraxt files made with this program looks to be a interestring progam and may beable to get high compression rates
January 29, 2008
WATCH MOVIES IN MS PAINT
Hey guys, did you know that you can REALY watch movies in paint ?
Here's what you gotta do :
Open your favorite movie pLAYER and play the movie (I played the .mpg format in Winamp) Hit "PrintScreen",
keep playing the movie in the player, dont stop it.
Open MsPaint.
Select "Edit>Paste" Or Hit "CTRL+V" Presto!
You can watch movies in Paint!
But there are no Pause, Next, Previous, Stop etc. buttons
Spread this fact to all your friends and show how COOL things you can do with Paint! Experiment with other formats too, it doesn't play DivX , Flash movies, etc.
M*CRO$OFT hasn't revealed this i think. MsPaint is GREAT
Here's what you gotta do :
Open your favorite movie pLAYER and play the movie (I played the .mpg format in Winamp) Hit "PrintScreen",
keep playing the movie in the player, dont stop it.
Open MsPaint.
Select "Edit>Paste" Or Hit "CTRL+V" Presto!
You can watch movies in Paint!
But there are no Pause, Next, Previous, Stop etc. buttons
Spread this fact to all your friends and show how COOL things you can do with Paint! Experiment with other formats too, it doesn't play DivX , Flash movies, etc.
M*CRO$OFT hasn't revealed this i think. MsPaint is GREAT
SECURITY FOR UR XP
Don't you hate it when people mess with your computer without you knowing it?
Here are two ways to prevent this, (and still be lazy):
create a desktop icon to lock your computer, and password protect after the screen saver is activated.
Both of these only work if you already have your computer password protected on login.
If you already have a password, skip to the next part.
To create a password, go to the control panel , then to user accounts .
Click your account, and then the " change my password " button, enter the requested fields and click on " change password " and then close the window.
How to create a lock-down icon:
First, pick any icon on your desktop.
Right click it and drag it to another place on the desktop.
In the menu that appears select " copy. "
Now we need to change the name and the target of the new shortcut.
Right click this shortcut, and click " properties. "
Make sure you are in the shortcut tab .
In the box labeled " target, " copy and paste this line: %windir%\System32\rundll32.exe user32.dll,LockWorkStation
In the box labeled " Start in, " copy paste: %windir%
To apply these changes click " apply. "
Next you can change the icon.
Just click the " change icon " button.
If you're not already there hit the browse button and go to: C:\WINDOWS\system32\shell32.dll You'll find a nice selection of icons there.
Select an icon from the ones that appear in the box and click " ok. "
Now move to the general tab .
The box on the top contains the name of your icon.
Change it to whatever you want.
I used "Fun Game" in the hope that if someone comes to the computer and it is not locked that they will click this icon, locking the computer. (This actually worked once!)
After you are finished, click " apply ," and then " ok. "
To test your icon, double click it.
You should be taken to something like a log on screen.
Just enter the password to get back into windows, just as you left it too.
This is different from actually logging off.
Whenever you know you will be away for a while, just click that icon, and your computer will be safe.
How to lock down on screen saver:
Right click on your desktop in any empty space.
Click " properties " in the menu that opens.
Go to the screensaver tab.
All you have to do now is click the box next to " On resume, password protect .
" Click " apply, " and then " ok. "
Let your screen saver run, and see what happens after you move your mouse.
This is good in case you leave suddenly and forget to click the icon we made earlier.
Unlike hibernation, this will allow other programs, such as Kazaa or iMesh, to run in the background.
Here are two ways to prevent this, (and still be lazy):
create a desktop icon to lock your computer, and password protect after the screen saver is activated.
Both of these only work if you already have your computer password protected on login.
If you already have a password, skip to the next part.
To create a password, go to the control panel , then to user accounts .
Click your account, and then the " change my password " button, enter the requested fields and click on " change password " and then close the window.
How to create a lock-down icon:
First, pick any icon on your desktop.
Right click it and drag it to another place on the desktop.
In the menu that appears select " copy. "
Now we need to change the name and the target of the new shortcut.
Right click this shortcut, and click " properties. "
Make sure you are in the shortcut tab .
In the box labeled " target, " copy and paste this line: %windir%\System32\rundll32.exe user32.dll,LockWorkStation
In the box labeled " Start in, " copy paste: %windir%
To apply these changes click " apply. "
Next you can change the icon.
Just click the " change icon " button.
If you're not already there hit the browse button and go to: C:\WINDOWS\system32\shell32.dll You'll find a nice selection of icons there.
Select an icon from the ones that appear in the box and click " ok. "
Now move to the general tab .
The box on the top contains the name of your icon.
Change it to whatever you want.
I used "Fun Game" in the hope that if someone comes to the computer and it is not locked that they will click this icon, locking the computer. (This actually worked once!)
After you are finished, click " apply ," and then " ok. "
To test your icon, double click it.
You should be taken to something like a log on screen.
Just enter the password to get back into windows, just as you left it too.
This is different from actually logging off.
Whenever you know you will be away for a while, just click that icon, and your computer will be safe.
How to lock down on screen saver:
Right click on your desktop in any empty space.
Click " properties " in the menu that opens.
Go to the screensaver tab.
All you have to do now is click the box next to " On resume, password protect .
" Click " apply, " and then " ok. "
Let your screen saver run, and see what happens after you move your mouse.
This is good in case you leave suddenly and forget to click the icon we made earlier.
Unlike hibernation, this will allow other programs, such as Kazaa or iMesh, to run in the background.
HIDDEN BRIAN EMO AMBIENT MIX ON WIN XP
There is a hidden music track inside Windows XP that is very hard to find.
It is really relaxing ambient music to be on your computer to, here are the steps...
1. Click start and right click "My Computer" and click "Explore"
2. Click Tools on the top of the window and click "folder options"
3. In folder options click "view"
4. In the advanced settings box, scroll down and check and uncheck the following... Click "Show Hidden Files and Folders" under the hidden files and folders box. Uncheckmark "Hide protected operating system files (Recommended)" (you'll get a warning that files required to run the system will be displayed so as soon as you view the egg id suggest you go back and undo the changes)
5. Now, go to start, right click "My computer" and click "Explore", now, click Local Disc C then click WINDOWS
6. Click "system32"
7. Click the folder "oobe"
8. Click "images"
9. In "images" click "title" and prepare to hear the awesome music! (It should open in Windows Media Player)
It is really relaxing ambient music to be on your computer to, here are the steps...
1. Click start and right click "My Computer" and click "Explore"
2. Click Tools on the top of the window and click "folder options"
3. In folder options click "view"
4. In the advanced settings box, scroll down and check and uncheck the following... Click "Show Hidden Files and Folders" under the hidden files and folders box. Uncheckmark "Hide protected operating system files (Recommended)" (you'll get a warning that files required to run the system will be displayed so as soon as you view the egg id suggest you go back and undo the changes)
5. Now, go to start, right click "My computer" and click "Explore", now, click Local Disc C then click WINDOWS
6. Click "system32"
7. Click the folder "oobe"
8. Click "images"
9. In "images" click "title" and prepare to hear the awesome music! (It should open in Windows Media Player)
REDUCE 10 SECONDS XP SCANDISK COUNTDOWN TIME DURING XP BOOT
To reduce the count down time of Windows XP during boot process ( You see this normally when your computer is not shutdown properly, Electricity failure is one of the major reasons ) ,
You can use the following method.
Start MS Dos Prompt (or Goto Start menu-> Run and here type CMD).
Now at command Prompt type the following command CHKNTFS /T:4
Where 4 is the amount of time in seconds to wait before scandisk starts ( You may set it to 0 or 1 so that scandisk instantly starts or whatever you prefer )
For help about this command, You can type the following command at command prompt CHKNTFS /?
Note: You can also type the command CHKNTFS /T:4 at run command but in this case you will only see a splash screen of command promt and it will disappear, but your task will be done.
You can use the following method.
Start MS Dos Prompt (or Goto Start menu-> Run and here type CMD).
Now at command Prompt type the following command CHKNTFS /T:4
Where 4 is the amount of time in seconds to wait before scandisk starts ( You may set it to 0 or 1 so that scandisk instantly starts or whatever you prefer )
For help about this command, You can type the following command at command prompt CHKNTFS /?
Note: You can also type the command CHKNTFS /T:4 at run command but in this case you will only see a splash screen of command promt and it will disappear, but your task will be done.
USE SYSTEM RESTORE WEN WINDOWS DONT START
VERY COOL HELP:
Use System Restore When Windows Won’t Start
When your computer is going haywire, System Restore can be a virtual lifesaver.
But what if your high-tech troubles are so severe that Windows can’t even start up?
In that case, try using the Safe Mode with Command Prompt to access System Restore:
1. After turning on your computer, press the F8 key several times until the Windows Advanced Options Menu screen appears.
2. Use the up or down arrows on your keyboard to select Safe Mode with Command Prompt, and then press Enter.
3. The next screen displays the message, “Please select the operating sys tem to start.” Assuming you only have Windows XP installed on your system, press Enter. If you have more than one operating system installed, use the up and down arrow keys to select Windows XP, and then press the Enter key.
4. Windows loads some software, which could take a minute or two. Depending on how your version of Windows is configured, a login screen or the Welcome Screen appears. If you see the login screen, type your account name and password (if you have one), press Enter. If you see the Welcome Screen, click the icon for the account labeled Administrator or an account that has administrative privileges, and then type your password (if you have one).
5. Next, a command prompt appears. Type %systemroot%\system32\restore\rstrui.exe in the blank, and then press the Enter key.
6. After several seconds, the System Restore window appears. Click the Restore My Computer to an Earlier Time button.
7. Click the Next button, located near the lower-right corner of this window.
8. A calendar appears. In it, click a day when your computer was working properly, and then click the Next button.
9. To confirm your choice, click Next.
10. The System Restore process begins. Moments later, your computer automatically restarts itself. When it boots up, follow the on-screen instructions.
Use System Restore When Windows Won’t Start
When your computer is going haywire, System Restore can be a virtual lifesaver.
But what if your high-tech troubles are so severe that Windows can’t even start up?
In that case, try using the Safe Mode with Command Prompt to access System Restore:
1. After turning on your computer, press the F8 key several times until the Windows Advanced Options Menu screen appears.
2. Use the up or down arrows on your keyboard to select Safe Mode with Command Prompt, and then press Enter.
3. The next screen displays the message, “Please select the operating sys tem to start.” Assuming you only have Windows XP installed on your system, press Enter. If you have more than one operating system installed, use the up and down arrow keys to select Windows XP, and then press the Enter key.
4. Windows loads some software, which could take a minute or two. Depending on how your version of Windows is configured, a login screen or the Welcome Screen appears. If you see the login screen, type your account name and password (if you have one), press Enter. If you see the Welcome Screen, click the icon for the account labeled Administrator or an account that has administrative privileges, and then type your password (if you have one).
5. Next, a command prompt appears. Type %systemroot%\system32\restore\rstrui.exe in the blank, and then press the Enter key.
6. After several seconds, the System Restore window appears. Click the Restore My Computer to an Earlier Time button.
7. Click the Next button, located near the lower-right corner of this window.
8. A calendar appears. In it, click a day when your computer was working properly, and then click the Next button.
9. To confirm your choice, click Next.
10. The System Restore process begins. Moments later, your computer automatically restarts itself. When it boots up, follow the on-screen instructions.
REMOVING MSN MESSENGER
Removing the MSN Messenger
If you want to remove the MSN Messenger from always starting in the system tray, do
1. Start / Run
2. Then enter in the following string: RunDll
32 advpack.dll,LaunchINFSection %windir%\INF\msmsgs.inf,BLC
Remove
To remove it completely, see the section Adding / Removing Additional Programs
Remove the hide from the line: msmsgs=msgrocm.dll,OcEntry,msmsgs.inf,hide,7
If you want to remove the MSN Messenger from always starting in the system tray, do
1. Start / Run
2. Then enter in the following string: RunDll
32 advpack.dll,LaunchINFSection %windir%\INF\msmsgs.inf,BLC
Remove
To remove it completely, see the section Adding / Removing Additional Programs
Remove the hide from the line: msmsgs=msgrocm.dll,OcEntry,msmsgs.inf,hide,7
u can repair ur windows XP OS without loosing any setting or data,
if u have any missing OS file or any errors, repairing will fix it.
Reboot the computer with first boot device as CD-Rom
Place the Win XP cd in CD-Rom
At the prompt "Press any key to boot from CD" press any key Setup starts-
Here u also see a Repair option but dont use it-
Press Enter to continue setup-
Press F8 to accept License Agreement
Now setup will search for previously installed Operating systems, a list will be displayed
(Note: if u have windows 98 it wont be displayed in the list)
Select the Operating system which ur repairing, like "C:\Microsoft Windows XP Professional" Press 'R' to repair Setup startup copying files and Restarts
(Note: if the file copying process is not done and the system restarts u have to again follow the same as above by booting from CD-Rom),
after file copying is done system restarts
Now u have to boot from HDD not from CD,
At the prompt "Press any key to boot from CD" dont press any key,
setup will continue U need ur CD key
Warning: If u have downloaded Service Pack 2 and installed it then u have to again download and install it after repair If u have ur Service Pack 2 inbuit in the XP CD then no need to worry, it will get installed along with Os
if u have any missing OS file or any errors, repairing will fix it.
Reboot the computer with first boot device as CD-Rom
Place the Win XP cd in CD-Rom
At the prompt "Press any key to boot from CD" press any key Setup starts-
Here u also see a Repair option but dont use it-
Press Enter to continue setup-
Press F8 to accept License Agreement
Now setup will search for previously installed Operating systems, a list will be displayed
(Note: if u have windows 98 it wont be displayed in the list)
Select the Operating system which ur repairing, like "C:\Microsoft Windows XP Professional" Press 'R' to repair Setup startup copying files and Restarts
(Note: if the file copying process is not done and the system restarts u have to again follow the same as above by booting from CD-Rom),
after file copying is done system restarts
Now u have to boot from HDD not from CD,
At the prompt "Press any key to boot from CD" dont press any key,
setup will continue U need ur CD key
Warning: If u have downloaded Service Pack 2 and installed it then u have to again download and install it after repair If u have ur Service Pack 2 inbuit in the XP CD then no need to worry, it will get installed along with Os
SPEED UP UR START MENU
The Start Menu take a quite a while to display the list of programs installed.
In order to get Windows XP to display the list faster, you will have to edit some registry settings. Remember to back up your regitry before making any changes.
To speed up, goto Start > Run and type regedit.
This will open the registry window.
Then navigate to the following key: HKEY_CURRENT_USER\Control Panel\Desktop.
Scroll down in the Right panel and double click on "menushowdelay".
In the Value Data box, change the default value for the menu speed from 400 to a lesser number, such as 1 or even 0.
Click OK You should now find a significant increase in the startmenu speed.
In order to get Windows XP to display the list faster, you will have to edit some registry settings. Remember to back up your regitry before making any changes.
To speed up, goto Start > Run and type regedit.
This will open the registry window.
Then navigate to the following key: HKEY_CURRENT_USER\Control Panel\Desktop.
Scroll down in the Right panel and double click on "menushowdelay".
In the Value Data box, change the default value for the menu speed from 400 to a lesser number, such as 1 or even 0.
Click OK You should now find a significant increase in the startmenu speed.
INCREASE PERFOMANCE THROUGH MY COMPUTER
Easy enough tweak to usually find out about it on your own, but still, some of us still don't find it right away. So here it is:
Start > right-click on My Computer and select Properties.
Click on the "Advanced" tab.
See the "Performance" section?
Click "Settings".
Disable the following:
Fade or slide menus into view
Fade or slide ToolTips into view
Fade out menu items after clicking
Show Shadows under menus
Slide open combo boxes
Slide taskbar buttons
Use a background image for each folder type
Use common tasks in folders
There, now Windows will still look nice and perform faster.
Start > right-click on My Computer and select Properties.
Click on the "Advanced" tab.
See the "Performance" section?
Click "Settings".
Disable the following:
Fade or slide menus into view
Fade or slide ToolTips into view
Fade out menu items after clicking
Show Shadows under menus
Slide open combo boxes
Slide taskbar buttons
Use a background image for each folder type
Use common tasks in folders
There, now Windows will still look nice and perform faster.
FASTEN UR BROADBAND SPEED FOR XP
THIS IS REALLY COOL
If you are using a BroadBand connection at your home and using Windows Xp as your Operating System, and you feel that your BB speed is a bit less,
then in that case you have the option to increase your Broadband speed upto 20%.
HOW?
Well this is what you need to do.
1. First of all make sure you are logged in as Administrator.
2. Go to Start -> Run -> gpedit.msc, press OK.
3. Then go to Computer Configuration -> Administrative Templates -> Network -> QoS packet Scheduler.
4. On the right it will give you the option of “Limit Reservable bandwidthâ€, open and and select “Enabledâ€, and change the value to 0.
If you are using a BroadBand connection at your home and using Windows Xp as your Operating System, and you feel that your BB speed is a bit less,
then in that case you have the option to increase your Broadband speed upto 20%.
HOW?
Well this is what you need to do.
1. First of all make sure you are logged in as Administrator.
2. Go to Start -> Run -> gpedit.msc, press OK.
3. Then go to Computer Configuration -> Administrative Templates -> Network -> QoS packet Scheduler.
4. On the right it will give you the option of “Limit Reservable bandwidthâ€, open and and select “Enabledâ€, and change the value to 0.
BOOT AND DEFRAGMENT
A very important feature in Microsoft Windows XP is the ability to do a boot defragment.
This basically means that all boot files are placed next to each other on the disk drive to allow for faster booting.
By default this option is enabled but some upgrades could disable this feature. to enable it :
1. Start Regedit.
2. Navigate to HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE\SOFTWARE\Microsoft\Dfrg\BootOptimizeFunction 3. Select Enable from the list on the right.
4. Right on it and select Modify.
5. Change the value to Y to enable and N to disable.
6. Reboot your computer.
This basically means that all boot files are placed next to each other on the disk drive to allow for faster booting.
By default this option is enabled but some upgrades could disable this feature. to enable it :
1. Start Regedit.
2. Navigate to HKEY_LOCAL_MACHINE\SOFTWARE\Microsoft\Dfrg\BootOptimizeFunction 3. Select Enable from the list on the right.
4. Right on it and select Modify.
5. Change the value to Y to enable and N to disable.
6. Reboot your computer.
January 01, 2008
REAL CONTRASTINGS CREATE HUMOUR
GET LESSONS
Spotted in a toilet of a London office:
TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW
In a London Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT
In a London department store:
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS
In an London office:
AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT ANDSTAND UPSIDE DOWN ONTHE DRAINING BOARD
Outside a London secondhand shop:
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES,ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?
Notice in London health food shop window:
CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS
Spotted in a safari park:
ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR
Seen during a London conference:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THEREIS A DAY CARE ON
Notice in a field:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE,BUT THE BULLCHARGES
Message on a leaflet:
IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO READ
On a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOORTHE BELL DOESN'TWORK)
People in other countries sometimes go out of their way to communicate with their English-speaking tourists. Here is a listof signs seenaround the world.
At a Budapest zoo:
PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS. IF YOU HAVE ANYSUITABLE FOOD, GIVE IT TO THE GUARD ON DUTY.
Doctors office, Rome:
SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.
Hotel, Acapulco:
THE MANAGER HAS PERSONALLY PASSED ALL THE WATER SERVEDHERE.
In a Nairobi restaurant:
CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE SHOULD WAIT ANDSEE THE MANAGER.
In a City restaurant:
OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK, AND WEEKENDS TOO.
Spotted in a toilet of a London office:
TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW
In a London Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT
In a London department store:
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS
In an London office:
AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT ANDSTAND UPSIDE DOWN ONTHE DRAINING BOARD
Outside a London secondhand shop:
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES,ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?
Notice in London health food shop window:
CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS
Spotted in a safari park:
ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR
Seen during a London conference:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THEREIS A DAY CARE ON
Notice in a field:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE,BUT THE BULLCHARGES
Message on a leaflet:
IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO READ
On a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOORTHE BELL DOESN'TWORK)
People in other countries sometimes go out of their way to communicate with their English-speaking tourists. Here is a listof signs seenaround the world.
At a Budapest zoo:
PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS. IF YOU HAVE ANYSUITABLE FOOD, GIVE IT TO THE GUARD ON DUTY.
Doctors office, Rome:
SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.
Hotel, Acapulco:
THE MANAGER HAS PERSONALLY PASSED ALL THE WATER SERVEDHERE.
In a Nairobi restaurant:
CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE SHOULD WAIT ANDSEE THE MANAGER.
In a City restaurant:
OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK, AND WEEKENDS TOO.
LALOO PRASAD SENT HIS RESUME.......
Laloo Prasad sent his Resume - to apply for a post in Microsoft Corporation, USA.
A few days later he got this reply:
Dear Mr. Laloo Prasad,
You do not meet our requirements. Please do not send any further correspondence. No phone call shall be entertained. Thanks
Bill Gates.
Laloo prasad jumped with joy on receiving this reply.
He arranged a press conference:
"Bhaiyon aur Behno, aap ko jaan kar khushi hogee ki hum ko Amereeca mein naukri mil gayee hai." Everyone was delighted.
Laloo prasad continued...... "Ab hum aap sab ko apnaa appointment Letter padkar sunaongaa ? par letter angreeze main hai - isliyen saath-saath Hindi main translate bhee karoonga.
Dear Mr. Laloo Prasad ----- Pyare Laloo prasad bhaiyya
You do not meet ----- aap to miltay hee naheen ho
our requirement ----- humko to zaroorat hai
Please do not send any furthur correspondance ----- abLetter vetter bhejne ka kaouno zaroorat nahee.
No phone call ----- phoonwa ka bhee zaroorat nahee hai
shall be entertained ----- bahut khaatir kee jayegi.
Thanks ----- aapkaa bahut bahut dhanyavad.
Bill Gates----- Bilva
A few days later he got this reply:
Dear Mr. Laloo Prasad,
You do not meet our requirements. Please do not send any further correspondence. No phone call shall be entertained. Thanks
Bill Gates.
Laloo prasad jumped with joy on receiving this reply.
He arranged a press conference:
"Bhaiyon aur Behno, aap ko jaan kar khushi hogee ki hum ko Amereeca mein naukri mil gayee hai." Everyone was delighted.
Laloo prasad continued...... "Ab hum aap sab ko apnaa appointment Letter padkar sunaongaa ? par letter angreeze main hai - isliyen saath-saath Hindi main translate bhee karoonga.
Dear Mr. Laloo Prasad ----- Pyare Laloo prasad bhaiyya
You do not meet ----- aap to miltay hee naheen ho
our requirement ----- humko to zaroorat hai
Please do not send any furthur correspondance ----- abLetter vetter bhejne ka kaouno zaroorat nahee.
No phone call ----- phoonwa ka bhee zaroorat nahee hai
shall be entertained ----- bahut khaatir kee jayegi.
Thanks ----- aapkaa bahut bahut dhanyavad.
Bill Gates----- Bilva
INTERESTING INTERVIEW
OFFICER : WHAT IS YOUR NAME?
CANDIDATE :M P SIR
OFFICER : TELL ME PROPERLY
CANDIDATE : MOHAN PAL सिर
OFFICER : YOUR FATHER'S NAME?
CANDIDATE : M.P.SIR
OFFICER : WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
CANDIDATE : MANMOHAN PAL SIR
OFFICER : YOUR NATIVE PLACE?
CANDIDATE : M.P.SIR
OFFICER : IS IT MADHYAPRADESH?
CANDIDATE : NO, MUNNUR PAL SIR
OFFICER : WHAT IS YOUR QUALIFICATION?
CANDIDATE : M.P.SIR
OFFICER : (ANGRILY) WHAT IS IT?
CANDIDATE : METRIC PASS
OFFICER : WHY DO YOU NEED A JOB?
CANDIDATE : M.P.SIR
OFFICER : AND WHAT DOIES THAT MEAN?
CANDIDATE : MONEY PROBLEM SIR
OFFICER : DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY
CANDIDATE : M.P.SIR
OFFICER : EXPLAIN..
CANDIDATE : MAGNANIMOUS PERSONALITY SIR
OFFICER : YOU MAY GO NOW
CANDIDATE : M.P.SIROFFICER : WHAT IS IT NOW?
CANDIDATE : MY PERFORMANCE..?
OFFICER : M P!!!!
CANDIDATE : WHAT IS THAT SIR
OFFICER : MENTALLY PUNCTURED
LAUGH OUT LOUDLY ITS FUNNY......
Sardarji zebra crosing ke black & white patte par bar bar idhar-udhar chalte the ,woh kya soch rahe honge...think......"SALA YE PIANO BAJTA KYON NAHIN"
sardar jhad pe bethkar gaa rahe the, achanak ek sardar jhad se ulta latak ke gaane laga, dusre ne poocha ki ulta kyon latke ho????sardar bola "OYE SIDE 'B' GAA RAAHA HUN
enjoy it...
CANDIDATE :M P SIR
OFFICER : TELL ME PROPERLY
CANDIDATE : MOHAN PAL सिर
OFFICER : YOUR FATHER'S NAME?
CANDIDATE : M.P.SIR
OFFICER : WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?
CANDIDATE : MANMOHAN PAL SIR
OFFICER : YOUR NATIVE PLACE?
CANDIDATE : M.P.SIR
OFFICER : IS IT MADHYAPRADESH?
CANDIDATE : NO, MUNNUR PAL SIR
OFFICER : WHAT IS YOUR QUALIFICATION?
CANDIDATE : M.P.SIR
OFFICER : (ANGRILY) WHAT IS IT?
CANDIDATE : METRIC PASS
OFFICER : WHY DO YOU NEED A JOB?
CANDIDATE : M.P.SIR
OFFICER : AND WHAT DOIES THAT MEAN?
CANDIDATE : MONEY PROBLEM SIR
OFFICER : DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY
CANDIDATE : M.P.SIR
OFFICER : EXPLAIN..
CANDIDATE : MAGNANIMOUS PERSONALITY SIR
OFFICER : YOU MAY GO NOW
CANDIDATE : M.P.SIROFFICER : WHAT IS IT NOW?
CANDIDATE : MY PERFORMANCE..?
OFFICER : M P!!!!
CANDIDATE : WHAT IS THAT SIR
OFFICER : MENTALLY PUNCTURED
LAUGH OUT LOUDLY ITS FUNNY......
Sardarji zebra crosing ke black & white patte par bar bar idhar-udhar chalte the ,woh kya soch rahe honge...think......"SALA YE PIANO BAJTA KYON NAHIN"
sardar jhad pe bethkar gaa rahe the, achanak ek sardar jhad se ulta latak ke gaane laga, dusre ne poocha ki ulta kyon latke ho????sardar bola "OYE SIDE 'B' GAA RAAHA HUN
enjoy it...
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