CRAZY RIDDLES

1. Where was the first potato found?
Ans: In the ground.

2. What comes down but never goes up?
Ans: rain.

3. If three cats kill three rats in three minutes, how long will it take hundred cats to kill hundred rats?
Ans: three minutes.

4. What can fly but has no wings?
Ans: Time.

5. What always goes 2 sleeps wearing its shoes?
Ans: Horse.

6. I m like a ribbon, tied by nature, across the sky, what m I?
Ans: Rainbow.

7. How would u write nineteen that if one is taken out, then its
remains twenty.
Ans: XIX when one is taken out, its remains XX.

8. There were ten sparrows sitting on a tree. A hunter fired and tow of them fell dead. How many sparrows were left on the tree?
Ans: Non.

9. Two sons and two fathers went hunting. They succeeded in hunting one pigeon each on counting it was found that they were only three pigeons.How is that?
Ans: They were only three persons, son father and grandfather.

10. Which is the hardest key to turn?
Ans: Donkey.

11. which part of London in France?
Ans: -N-

12: why ur nose is not twelve inches long?
Ans: Because then it would be a foot.

13. What r the largest ant in the world?
Ans: Elephant.

REAL CONTRASTINGS CREATE HUMOUR

GET LESSONS

Spotted in a toilet of a London office:
TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW
In a London Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT
In a London department store:
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS
In an London office:
AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT ANDSTAND UPSIDE DOWN ONTHE DRAINING BOARD
Outside a London secondhand shop:
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES,ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?
Notice in London health food shop window:
CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS
Spotted in a safari park:
ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR
Seen during a London conference:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THEREIS A DAY CARE ON
Notice in a field:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE,BUT THE BULLCHARGES
Message on a leaflet:
IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO READ
On a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOORTHE BELL DOESN'TWORK)



People in other countries sometimes go out of their way to communicate with their English-speaking tourists. Here is a listof signs seenaround the world.
At a Budapest zoo:
PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS. IF YOU HAVE ANYSUITABLE FOOD, GIVE IT TO THE GUARD ON DUTY.
Doctors office, Rome:
SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.
Hotel, Acapulco:
THE MANAGER HAS PERSONALLY PASSED ALL THE WATER SERVEDHERE.
In a Nairobi restaurant:
CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE SHOULD WAIT ANDSEE THE MANAGER.
In a City restaurant:
OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK, AND WEEKENDS TOO.

LALOO PRASAD SENT HIS RESUME.......

Laloo Prasad sent his Resume - to apply for a post in Microsoft Corporation, USA.
A few days later he got this reply:


Dear Mr. Laloo Prasad,
You do not meet our requirements. Please do not send any further correspondence. No phone call shall be entertained. Thanks
Bill Gates.

Laloo prasad jumped with joy on receiving this reply.
He arranged a press conference:
"Bhaiyon aur Behno, aap ko jaan kar khushi hogee ki hum ko Amereeca mein naukri mil gayee hai." Everyone was delighted.
Laloo prasad continued...... "Ab hum aap sab ko apnaa appointment Letter padkar sunaongaa ? par letter angreeze main hai - isliyen saath-saath Hindi main translate bhee karoonga.
Dear Mr. Laloo Prasad ----- Pyare Laloo prasad bhaiyya
You do not meet ----- aap to miltay hee naheen ho
our requirement ----- humko to zaroorat hai
Please do not send any furthur correspondance ----- abLetter vetter bhejne ka kaouno zaroorat nahee.
No phone call ----- phoonwa ka bhee zaroorat nahee hai
shall be entertained ----- bahut khaatir kee jayegi.
Thanks ----- aapkaa bahut bahut dhanyavad.
Bill Gates----- Bilva